07 August 2007

Lead poisoning, anyone?

In the Strange strange news report, here's one for the books. Or, more accurately, the pencil boxes.

Today, the AP reports that a German surgeon has removed a pencil lodged these 55 years in a woman's brain.

I can imagine, based on the scant details provided in the story, little Margaret skipping along with a pencil in her hand, ignoring that common wisdom not to run with scissors or other sharp objects lest you poke an eye out, when oops, she tripped and the pencil invaded her gray matter.

Apparently the aphorism lies, for the pencil did not seem to affect her eye. Just produced a half century of nosebleeds and headaches. Small potatoes. So we should say instead "Don't run with pencils because they might disappear into your brains."

Worse things can happen, for sure, but this must be a parents' nightmare nonetheless. And a skipper's nightmare too, according to Margaret: ''It hurt like crazy.''

I can confirm. Once, when we were at orchestra festival, I was running and tripped on a sidewalk, scraping the knuckle of my big toe on the concrete. Ripped a big hole in my hose and left a scar that remains to this day. Just writing the story makes my toes curl.

Now if that isn't the same kind of thing as wearing a pencil in your brain for 55 years, then I don't know what is.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

once i pulled a hair from inside my nose...that was painful !

My Breathments Off said...

did you just say that having a pencil in the brain for 55 years and tripping while running are the same kind of thing?

Jen said...

(Sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm.)

Micah said...

well, didn't the girl first trip while running... and then?

Micah said...

also, better than having a capuchin monkey stuck in your head

Jen said...

So true.

In related news, I remembered last night that I too am carrying the remnants of a pencil just between my wrist and the fatty part of my palm. It lodged there sometime late in elementary school, I think. Just the tip, of course; not hardly a 3-inch pencil. Also notably just in the hand, not the brain. . . .

Lauren said...

That reminds me of the Office--do y'all watch The Office?--when Michael burned his foot on his George Foreman grill and compared his "disability" to that of the paraplegic on the 3rd floor. Ah, one of my favorites...too funny.

I have a bit of pencil in me, too. An inch or so below my right knee. So I can relate.

M.R. said...

Ha! Hose!

Jen said...

"The Office"--I need to see that.

Probably South Highlands is responsible for all the lead we're carrying around, Muffin.

As for your exclamation about hose, Arthur, I can only say that I cannot recall the last time I wore any. Either I got smart or else got scarred from this earlier experience. Well, I'm already literally scarred, but I mean mentally.

M.R. said...

South Highlands' students are not special in that they use pencils. However, they are "special" in that they cannot walk and carry pencils at the same time without injurying themselves.

Jen said...

Hmm, no evidence to the contrary. . . .

Micah said...

let's stop and break this down: south highlands. that infers that it is south of highlands. but it also infers that it is highlands, or a sort of it. normally, any land around the high land is lower than the high land, but nobody wants to school at south lowerlands are almostashigh school. it could be that the high lands are extremely large and that the southern portion was populated later but nobody wanted to send their kids to the wecameherelate school. or it could be that the south high lands are just as high as the high lands separated only by a smaller lower land between. but then why would two separate geographical bodies be given the same name. is there a lack of creativity in the south high lands? in any case, this doesn't appear to be a place you'd expect to find a school of excellence.

have we any evidence to the contrary?

Holly S. said...

Too funny! I too have a remnant of a pencil lodged in my body. It's not in my brain, but in my seat.

Once in third grade I threatened a boy with a pencil. He kept touching my desk and I TOLD him I would stab him with my pencil if he didn't stop. He didn't stop.
Guess he probably has some remnant stuck in his hand. That was back in my heathen youth.

M.R. said...

This blog stinks. (Stinks.)

Lauren said...

Jen, seriously.

Anonymous said...

Ok, friend, I must say this is the funniest post I've read in WEEKS. Except for the way you phrase #2 in the more recent post, cuz that's also funny. Thanks - I was having a spell where I didn't procrastinate, but your and Micah's blogs saved me.

Jen said...

Holly! I can't believe it, even if it was in your heathen days. No, wait, I can. So snippy :)

Jen said...

PS Yeah for helping Kath procrastinate :) Hopefully these latest posts have done the same, or not. . . .